Cucco Chaos
by Lady Psychic
Summary: Link is on a quest to catch some missing cuccos. Unfortunately, Link will find out that it's not as easy as it sounds.
1. Part 1

_Well, this is my first Zelda fic (although I've used Zelda characters in my game crossovers fic). This story is also a lot different from my other stories. The other stories I've written so far are serious, dark, and/or angst. This story, however, is my first attempt at a humor fic. I hope this is at least slightly funny. Also, there will be some character bashing in this story (but it is to add to the humor/parody effect). The story takes place during Ocarina of Time. Anyways, I hope you will enjoy this fic._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time or its characters. Nintendo owns them._

**Cucco Chaos**

**Part 1**

As the morning sun rose above Kakariko Village, a blond headed boy named Link was passing through on a mission. He had to visit the Gorons and obtain the Goron's ruby, one of the three stones needed to open the Door of Time. In order to get to the mountains where the Goron's lived, he had to pass through the peaceful village of Kakariko. He hadn't planned on staying very long; but as he came near a house, he noticed a lone woman crying.

"C'mon Link, let's leave her alone. We have more important things to worry about," said Navi, an annoying fairy who was accompanying Link in his adventure. However, since Link was someone who was always willing to help others, he decided to ignore Navi and help the poor woman. "Hey lady, what's wrong?" asked Link. The woman stopped her sobbing for a moment and answered, "My precious cuccos are missing." One look into the woman's tear shot eyes convinced him to help her. "Don't worry lady, I'll find your cuccos," said Link in a confident voice. The woman's face brightened as she replied, "Really! Thank you! If you find any, please put them into the pin behind me." Link nodded his head in confirmation and set off in search for the cuccos.

Meanwhile, Navi sighed and thought, 'I have a feeling that Link is going to regret this later.'

From the corner of his eye, Link noticed a cucco not too far from the lady. He was shocked that the lady hadn't noticed it. "Is that woman blind or what!" murmured Navi under her breath. Link heard Navi's remark and couldn't have agreed more. 'Now that I think about it,' thought Link, 'if she really cared for her cuccos she would look for them herself.' Still, Link had already agreed to find to find the cuccos, so he slowly approached the cucco.

He moved so slowly that the cucco didn't notice Link creep behind it. When Link grabbed the cucco, it suddenly started flapping its wings like a maniac and screeching at the top of his lungs. Link soon found himself literally covered head to toe in feathers. Navi was laughing her head off while link approached the pin and gently tossed the cucco into it. Then, Link brushed the feathers off and began searching for the other cuccos.

Link suddenly remembered seeing a cucco near the village entrance. Sure enough, the cucco was still there and was walking around searching for worms. Link attempted to sneak up on it like he did with the last cucco; however, it had noticed him approaching and had begun to flee. Link pounced upon the bird, but he had obtained nothing but a fistful of feathers and a mouthful of dirt.

"Get up! It's getting away!" shouted Navi. Link eventually got up and glared at the cucco who was starring at him only a few feet away. It was as if the cucco was taunting him. As soon as Link began to charge at the cucco, it began to lead him on a wild goose, or perhaps a wild cucco, chase. Before the cucco could go too far, Link managed to pounce on it. However, the cucco would not give up without a fight and started scratching and pecking at Link. After a bit of a fight, Link finally managed to get it into the pen. The encounter had left link out of breath with several scratches and bruises. "Looks like that cucco did a number on you", Navi snickered. Link said nothing but simply glared at her.

Deciding to take a breather, Link walked up to the cucco lady and asked, "By the way, how many cuccos do I have left to find?" The cucco lady looked at the pen, then turned back to Link and replied, "I have a total of eight cuccos. That means there are six cuccos that are still missing. Please find them." Link turned around and sighed deeply.

'Great, I have six more of them to catch six more of them,' thought Link sarcastically. Navi noticed the look of disdain on Link's face and said, "At this rate, we'll never leave Kakariko Village. If you can't catch a few measly cuccos, then what makes you can reach Goron City, much less be a hero?" Link gave Navi another glare and thought, 'I'll show her. Besides, if I could handle two cuccos, then six more couldn't be too bad, right?' With renewed strength and confidence, Link continued his search for the cuccos.

What Link did not know was that his cucco troubles were only just beginning.


	2. Part 2

_Well, it took me longer to update this story than I first anticipated, but finally got around to it. I admit that the previous chapter was a little short, but this one should be longer. Hopefully, this chapter is better and/or funnier than the last one. _

_Disclaimer: I do not own the Legend of Zelda series, or any characters or elements from it._

**Cucco Chaos**

**Part 2**

Link soon began his search for the third cucco. However, the birds proved to be harder to find than Link had anticipated. It seemed that there were just too many places for the cuccos to hide around Kakariko Village.

Suddenly, Navi began bouncing frantically and shouted, "Hey, there it is!" Link turned around to see a cucco sitting atop of a nearby ledge. Unfortunately, it was way beyond Link's reach. Link pondered the situation for a few minutes before coming up with a plan. He took out his slingshot, loaded it and shot the cucco right in the butt. The cucco squawked and flapped its wings wildly before it fell off the ledge and landed on its head.

"Ouch, that had to hurt," said Navi as she stated the obvious. Concerned about the cucco's health, Link walked up to the cucco to check on it. It was lying on its back, had its eyes closed, and was motionless. "Uh oh, I think you killed it!" exclaimed Navi. Link certainly hoped Navi was wrong. He knew the bird's owner wouldn't be happy if he really did kill it.

Link bent over to get a better look at the supposedly dead bird. Suddenly, the bird opened its eyes and let out a screech so loud that it caused Link to fall on his butt and cover his ears. In fact, Link wouldn't have been surprised in a few nearby windows developed cracks. Then the cucco jumped up and pecked Link on the face a few times before landing on top of his head. Link reached up in an attempt to grab the bird off of his head, but it quickly jumped off and ran away.

Link was about to follow the runaway cucco, but he noticed that there was still something on top of his head. Link reached up to grab the object and realized that it was an egg. At first, he was simply going to toss the egg at some random place. However, as he continued to stare at the egg, Link's stomach suddenly grumbled and he realized that he hadn't ate very much during the past couple of days. The cucco egg began to look very tempting. Boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, deviled eggs, and fried eggs all sounded good to Link. Anything would be good as long as it kept him from starving to death

Suddenly, Link was hit in the back of his head. He turned around to see Navi, who gave him an irritated look. "Hey, you're supposed to be trying to catch cuccos instead of thinking about food!" yelled Navi. Link looked longingly at the egg before reluctantly putting the egg in his pocket. Alas, Navi was right and lunch would have to wait.

He would have to focus all of his energy in catching the cuccos.

Speaking of cuccos, the one who laid the egg on Link's head was standing only a short distance away. The clucking noise the cucco was making sounded almost as if it was laughing at him. Growing frustrated and angry, Link started to charge and chased the bird all around Karkariko Village. After a few minutes of mindless chasing, a plan suddenly formed in Link's mind. Link made the scariest face that he could and began to chase the cucco towards the pin. It took a few minutes to pull it off, but Link eventually succeeded in scaring the cucco near enough to its destination. Then, Link lunged and managed to grab a hold of the bird long enough to slam dunk it into the pin.

Link was now exhausted and thirsty from catching cuccos. Even Navi noticed and suggested, "Hey, maybe you should take another break. You'll never catch the rest of the cuccos while you're so exhausted. I heard that there is a well in the middle of town. Maybe you can get some water from there." Normaly, Link wouldn't even think about drinking water straight out of a well, but he was so thirsty that he no longer cared. So, he decided to take Navi's advice.

When Link arrived near the well, he noticed to both his surprise and fortune that there was a cucco standing right in front of it. Even though he was tired and thirsty, Link wasn't going to let this opportunity to go to waste. Link ran towards the cucco with what little strength he had left. Unfortunately, the bird flew up at the last moment and Link tripped over the side of the well. Link lost his balance and fell into the water with a splash.

Within a few seconds, Link was completely soaked from head to toe. To make things worse, the cold water was freezing his butt off. Link looked up to see Navi laughing hysterically as she floated above the well. "You do know that you are supposed to be chasing birds instead of swimming, right?" giggled Navi. Link just rolled his eyes and grabbed the ladder to climb out of the well. However, when Link finally reached the top of the ladder, he was startled when the cucco flew into his face and pecked his head about twenty times. This caused Link to loose his grip on the ladder and fall back into the water in the well.

On the plus side, at least Link wasn't thirsty anymore.

After a few minutes, Link finally escaped from the well. He was still soaked but he was determined to catch that darn cucco. Fortunately, he didn't have to look far to find the bird. In fact, that silly bird hadn't even taken advantage of Link's misfortune but stayed nearby instead. Link thought that he might finally have an easy capture this time. Of course, Link was also quite naïve sometimes, too.

After Link took a few steps towards the cucco, it started to flee again. He tried to follow it but his wet shoes caused him to slip and fall into the grass and mud. However, Link simply got back up on to his feet and started to chase the bird again. This cucco seemed to lack the energy that the other cuccos had and was easier to capture, but it still put up a fight. The fact that Link was covered in mud didn't help either. By the time Link finally returned to cucco to its pin, he looked like he had been tarred and feathered.

Link decided to ask the Cucco Lady if his could use her shower before he went to search for the rest of her cuccos. At first, she didn't recognize Link and hit him with a broom a few times because she thought he was some sort of a monster. Once she realized that Link was actually a human, she apologized and allowed Link to use her shower on the condition that he didn't track any mud in the house. Link sighed a little, before taking off his shoes and carefully making his way around the house.

It had been a long day, but Link's job wasn't even near done yet.


	3. Part 3

_Well, this story is taking a lot longer than I thought it would. I had quite a few distractions and other stories to get out of the way before I could re-focus on this one. Well, hopefully I will be able to finish this story before the end of the year. This story will probably have one more part after this one, and then it will be finished._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time or its characters. Nintendo owns them._

**Cucco Chaos**

**Part 3**

After a few minutes of rest, Link resumed his quest to find the rest of the cuccos. He counted the birds he captured and realized he needed to find four more. Link was now half-way done with his cucco search and now had a new-found resolve to continue.

As Link was walking around Kakariko Village, Navi suddenly shouted, "I see one! It's near the exit gate to Death Mountain." Sure enough, a lone cucco was wandering around near the gate. Link slowly walked towards the bird and tried to be as stealthy as possible. Just when it looked like Link would surprise the bird, he stepped on a twig. The loud snap was all that it took to get the cucco's attention. With a loud screech, it ran as fast as it could past the gate and out of the village.

'Oh no," thought Link, 'if it goes up Death Mountain it could get lost or eaten by a monster. I'm sure the Cucco Lady wouldn't be very happy if something bad happened to her cucco. I better follow it.' With Navi following close behind, Link quickly ran up the trail to Death Mountain. He hoped that he wasn't too late to save the cucco.

Not too far up the Death Mountain trail, Link finally caught up with the runaway bird. It seemed that Link had made it just in time because a monster suddenly leaped from behind a boulder and attacked the cucco. Fortunately, Link was able to protect the cucco with his shield, and he quickly dispatched the monster with a few wild strikes of his sword.

Frightened by its encounter with the monster, the cucco turned around and headed back to the village. Link was about to follow it, but Navi had other plans. "Hey Link," said Navi, "Maybe we should forget about catching the rest of those cuccos. After all, we are already half-way to Goron City." Link considered Navi's advice for a couple of seconds, but he ultimately ignored her. She gave a deep sigh as she followed Link back to Kakariko and thought, 'Link is just too much of a goody-two-shoes'.

When Link finally caught up with the cucco, he pounced on it so that it could not escape. The bird fought for a few minutes, but it soon grew tired and gave Link the opportunity he needed to safely return it to its pin. After he gently tossed the cucco back into its home, Link wiped the sweat from his forehead and continued in his search for the rest of the cucco flock.

After a few more minutes of walking, Link came upon a high fence. His face lit up when he saw not one, but two cuccos on the other side of the fence. However, Link's smile quickly faded when he couldn't find an opening to get to the cuccos. The fence didn't have big enough holes for him to get a good enough grip to climb on, and he didn't have any items that he could use.

"Well, this sucks!" said Navi. "You don't have anything useful, and you can't climb that stupid fence. The cuccos obviously flew into that fenced off area, but they are too dumb to fly out. Too bad you can't fly over the fence yourself."

For several minutes, Link paced around as a headache of frustration pounded into his head. Then, he remembered Navi's last few words and something clicked in his mind. Link suddenly turned and ran towards the cucco pin. He didn't know if his plan would work, but it wouldn't hurt to try.

When Link approached the cucco pin, he noticed the Cucco Lady standing in her usual spot. Link walked up to her and asked, "Can I borrow one of your cuccos?" The lady was a little surprised by his request, but decided to allow him to use one if he needed it. The young hero thanked her as he chose a random cucco. Then, he took it to a high area near the fence and began to make preparations.

"Are you sure about this?" asked Navi. "Do you really think that bird can even lift you above the ground? Oh well, it will be amusing to watch even if you fail miserably."

Link growled at Navi's comment, but he tried to focus at the task at hand. He carefully raised the cucco above his head and started running. When he reached to edge of the cliff, Link jumped as high as he could, and the cucco flapped its wings rapidly. Even though the cucco wasn't strong enough to actually fly with Link's weight pulling down on it, they were still able to gently glide downwards towards the fenced-in area. For a while, it looked as if Link would be able to make it. Unfortunately, a sudden gust of wind hit Link and the cucco full force, and he could only let out a high pitched scream as they found themselves headed towards a wall.

Navi couldn't stop herself from laughing as the boy and the bird went smack against a wall. She almost felt sorry for them as she saw them lying on the ground unconscious. Still, it was an amusing sight.

After a few minutes, Link woke up from his short nap. Fortunately, the cucco was still unconscious so he could grab it before it could escape. His first try may have been a failure, but Link was not about to let that stop him. Soon, he was ready to try again. This time Link successfully made it to the other side of the fence.

Because the cuccos were now detained in a small area, it was easier to catch them. However, Link soon found himself faced with a new problem. There was no way he could hold all three cuccos and climb out the same time. So he did the only thing he could do, which was to throw the cuccos over the fence one by one. Once Link had freed the cuccos, he found a conveniently placed fence and climbed it to escape the area. It was only then that he realized that there were now three cuccos running loose all over Kakariko Village.

Fortunately for Link, the cuccos were still disoriented from their latest adventure; thus, they were easier to catch. He tracked them down one by one, until he finally returned them to their pin. Of course, the young hero still received several scratches and peck marks, but he was still glad at the progress that he had made.

Now there was only one more cucco left to find.


	4. Part 4

_Well, this is the last chapter of this story. I would like to thank everyone who read and reviewed it. I hope you will enjoy this grand finale!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time and its characters. Nintendo owns them. _

**Cucco Chaos**

**Part 4**

Link was very excited. There was only one cucco left to find, and then his little side-quest would be over. He was pretty sure that Navi was getting angry at the amount of time that he was taking. They would need to hurry to Goron City so that they would complete their original mission of retrieving the Goron's Ruby. After all, Princess Zelda was counting on the young hero.

Still, Link had to find the final cucco before he left Kakariko Village. He was also looking forward to eating a quick lunch, too!

For several hours, he searched the entire village for the missing bird. He searched every alley, every house, every nook, and every cranny. He asked the various villagers if they had seen any cuccos. Unfortunately, he couldn't find any clues to the whereabouts of the missing cucco.

"Maybe it escaped the village and it's somewhere far away," suggested Navi. Link shook with horror at that thought. It was bad enough trying to search the village, but trying to search the entire land of Hyrule for one lost cucco seemed worse than trying to find a needle in a large hay stack. For that reason, Link seriously hoped his fairy friend was wrong.

After a few more hours, Link was about to give up when he heard strange noises coming from a wooden crate. He pressed his ear against the box smiled as he recognized the noise as the clucking of a cucco. Link found the situation strange since there didn't seem to be any holes or doors on the crate. How the heck did the cucco get inside the box in the first place?! Was it magic? Was it some sort of trap? Did someone somehow build the box around the cucco while it was sleeping?

After a few minutes of pondering this, Link decided it didn't matter and decided to focus on getting the poor bird its prison.

At first, Link was simply going to chop the box into a bunch of pieces with his sword. However, Navi warned, "That lady isn't going to be happy if you turn her cucco into a cucco shish kabob." Navi's words and the growling of his stomach caused Link to have sudden visions of crispy cucco tenders and buffalo cucco wings. It took a few minutes before Link could get over his thoughts of food and focus on freeing the bird.

Suddenly, an idea appeared in Link's head. Acting on impulse, Link recklessly rolled into the box hard enough to break it apart. Fortunately, the cucco was perfectly fine, with the exception of being stunned by the light after being stuck in that dark crate for who knows how long. Link, on the other hand, was covered in splinters. However, he was so focused on getting the final cucco back to its pin that he didn't notice (or didn't care) that he looked like he fought a wooden porcupine.

The final cucco was so stunned that it had little resistance as Link took it to the pin and tossed it in there. After that was done, the boy collapsed on the ground from exhaustion. A few minutes later, the Cucco Lady walked by the pen and noticed that all of her cuccos had been returned. She thanked Link for his hard work and went inside her house to get him something as a reward. Link's expression brightened as he began to wonder what sort of reward he would receive.

When the woman returned, Link was disappointed to find out that his reward was nothing more than a glass bottle. Navi whispered in his ear, "That lady ripped you off! You should have gotten more than that for all of the trouble that those blasted cuccos put you through!" Link was inclined to agree, but he ultimately accepted the bottle. After all, even a seemingly worthless bottle had its uses.

As he turned to leave, one of the cuccos suddenly crowed and caused Link to trip and drop the bottle. Link could only watch as the bottle that he worked so hard to earn fell to the ground and shattered into a million pieces. At first, he thought about finding the lady again and asking for another bottle, but he eventually decided to head towards Goron City. He wanted to get away from that lady and her evil cuccos. If he ever saw a cucco again, it would be too soon.

As Link left Kakariko and headed up Death Mountain, he remembered he egg that one of the cuccos laid on his head in which he had placed in his pocket. If there was anything good about his cucco misadventure, the egg would be it. Link was now very hungry, and even though the egg wasn't much, it would be enough to keep him from starving. He took the egg out of his pocket and he began to think of all of the delicious things he could make out of it.

Suddenly, a hawk swooped down and snatched the egg from his hands. Link stood in shock for a few seconds before trying to catch the renegade bird. Unfortunately, Link's lack of wings made the task of catching the hawk almost impossible. He tried to shoot it with is slingshot, but the hawk was soon out of range and out of sight.

Link let out a sigh of despair. His only source of food was now gone. Then he remembered that he was going to Goron City. 'Surely, they would have food there,' thought Link. With a new found resolve, Link ran towards Goron City as fast as he could.

Since Link seemed so enthusiastic about going, Navi didn't have the heart to tell him that the Gorons only ate rocks.

**The End**


End file.
